out of sort

secret lover

and i was with my secret lover when el mariachi got killed. i told you that. then you stopped asking. it was true. that i was with my secret lover, not that el mariachi got killed. he’s alive, safe and sound. he’s stopped sending me dirty messages, or so i think it was him.

building a relationship with such distance and degrading communication isn’t easy. you know that. what we have is faith, belief, prayers… all these fragile intangible things. i know we’ve been together for too long that nothing can come between us. but don’t we believe that we don’t own ourselves and that our hearts can be flipped within seconds?

he will stay secret. clandestine. he probably doesn’t exist at all. he’s probably just my imagination. he’s probably even closer than you. he’s probably more real than anything i’ve ever had. nothing is for sure about my secret lover. but everything happens for a reason.

this could be a warning. or just a false alarm. what to believe? our hearts. your conscience. my conscience. don’t be threatened, for nothing is real when it comes to my world.

i’m just waiting now. it’s all up to you now. it’s your call to wake me up or let me asleep. it’s y o u r call.


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