can’t remember when i started typing ‘ophelia’ for almost all of my personal internet accounts. my first encounter with the ‘net was when i was on the 2nd grade of high school (around 1997) and my first e-mail account was (no, you won’t find the site. it’s not around anymore). after that, i’ve signed up for so many e-mail accounts with (stupid me) different password for each of them and only made mental notes of them. naturally i forgot the ones i didn’t frequently use. then i decided to stick with qunish on my last year in high school (don’t ask for the detailed history, please). until then, i still hadn’t met Ophelia.

then i got hooked up with MiRC, where i changed my nick name oh too often. it was such a crazy, great span of time back there with everybody i met through the channels. somewhere around the time, though, i started to go all gloomy and black-and-red and used allophelia for my first web. stuffed my poems, short stories, history of Ophelia, and Shakespeare’s quotations there. but when was it? never mind.

the thing is i start losing my Ophelia-ism. used to have ‘madness, suicide,


broken-heart’ planted deep in my mind. now i’m much happier than that and the irony goes like this: i can’t write like i used to (and i like that older self of mine better…). my early works with photoshop were mostly dark. now i can’t manipulate my photos the same way anymore. i’ve lost the feeling.

only yesterday i found so many groups with ‘Ophelia’ keyword on Flickr, but i hesitate to join. you can’t tell how much i want to jump in and take pictures of myself drawning with flowers in my hair or going half naked laying on the ground or rustling in bushes of twigs acting insane…

maybe i will soon start taking my ‘Ophelia’ pictures right after i know how to summon her in me.


day eleven of 365


2 thoughts on “Ophelia-ism

  1. true, I feel that I wrote better when I had this gloomy suicidal thing going on too, LOL – tapi semoga u never have to summon the ophelia-ism if that means losing the happiness you have now ..

    1. don’t worry, dear. i won’t ever let go of what i have today. though i like the old me better, but i love my present life much better 🙂

      hope we all get to write like we used to without having to be suicidal allover again. ahahaha…

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